Relationship Coach/Intimacy Guide, Poet, Young Father Advocate, Adventurer, Nature Lover
An Overview
I grew up in the wild of Alaska, spending most of the first 12 years of life moving up and down the Eastern Alaska Coast with my family. At age 12, we moved to Maine, before moving several times in the Eastern United States.
I left home at age 16 and ended up attending 12 schools before graduating high school. Right after graduation, I entered the world of business, managing small print shops in the Northern Virginia area for the next 12 years.
During my time in Northern Virginia, I married my wife before moving to Arkansas where two of my sons were born. Since 2000, I have called Colorado home and it is my home like no other place I have ever lived.
I have dedicated the last 25 years of my life to supporting, guiding and teaching men of all ages. I have sat eye-to-eye with over 1,500 men from 13 to 80-years-old.
Nine years ago, I founded Glass Hearts, a non-profit dedicated to teen fathers throughout the greater Denver metropolitan area. I have walked beside these creative young men in different ways and support them in experiencing their lives, and their child, in a more complete way.
I’ve had the blessing of being a father for over 20 years and my three sons, now all 18 years and older, are each expressive and artistic in their unique ways. I was married for over 25 years before divorcing. Currently, I am experiencing safety and intimacy in my relationships like never before.
The Real Story
The current person I am is extremely different than the childhood me, different still from the man I was 20 years ago, hell, even different than I was just 10 years ago. TRUST, HOPE, TENACITY, and LOVE are tattooed on my skin and are words filled with meaning from my journey. They are the guiding light by which I continue to overcome my past and serve as a constant reminder of what I am experiencing, and what is to come within the intimate relationships of my life.
TRUST
How important is Trust? At an early age I learned to not trust myself. This played out in my adult years with extreme anxiety and at times, crippling fear. I’ve had to learn that true intimacy is based upon trust and deep relationships cannot exist without this. Like most things in our lives, we must first trust ourselves before we can fully trust another. Learning to fully trust others within the most intimate relationships in my life has changed the very foundation upon which I live.
HOPE
What gives me Hope? I was raised in a religious system that taught me to look elsewhere for hope. I see now that this was self-destructive. This view of life was built upon fear and control and went directly against who I was as an intuitive young man. I have come to discover that real Hope dwells within me. Throughout my lifetime, I have learned to understand and believe my future is overflowing with hope because of who I am, who I am becoming to myself, and finding my place in the world in which I live. I have learned to have confidence and security within a Universal Love and desire for unity that flows within us all.
TENACITY
Where does Tenacity come from? I left home at age 16. I married at a young age, divorced later in life, fathered a special needs son, experienced mental illness in my immediate family, and healed childhood trauma and depression in myself. These trials have taught me to be resilient and to always find a way to rise up and show up. Spending time with gifted therapists through much of my adult life has been a crucial piece to understanding and healing. Early on in life I understood that showing up, listening, and being a sponge for information, was a huge part of growth. I offer a tenacious love to my family and friends. As well, I am a tenacious lover doing whatever it takes so my partner knows my presence and how important they are.
LOVE
Why does Love matter? When we are unloved as a child and even as an adult, it can cause us make choices that often don’t make sense. This wild journey towards finding love has played out in my story. I searched for this deep and real love within years of marriage and in my career, tirelessly believing it could be found elsewhere. I searched for it in religion and in founding and running a non-profit. In all of this, I did not find what was missing. I woke up to an almost a daily voice, fueling my anxiety, telling me I was not enough. Loneliness was a constant friend that has had to be overcome.
I have discovered that Love is the glue that holds our lives together. I have learned to love well, and to accept being loved. A huge piece of this is believing that I am lovable and deserving of another’s deep and intimate love. Empathy and kindness are part of the foundation of what I have experienced within this life-altering word, LOVE. In fully experiencing it, I have found myself and the extravagant love I now offer to others.
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