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Writing · May 12, 2020

Spigot: Hot or Cold?

Is your spigot

Turned on or off?

Hot or cold?

Emotions

Difficult to

Talk about

Sometimes impossible

To experience

Often hiding underneath

Not knowing how

To properly allow

Tumultuous inner waves

To be seen

To be heard

Remembering a discussion

A young man

All ears

Wanting to understand

Why he was

Unable to express

I shared

Our emotions

A knob

Turning water

Hot or cold

On or off

As kids

Especially boys

Raised to turn

Off our emotions

Or never allowing

Them to

Turn on

Messages teaching

Importance of corking

Big boys

Don’t cry

Crying is

For girls

Be a man

Implying that

It’s never ok

To allow tears

And emotions

Through your

Internal pipeline

What happens

When men don’t

Allow their emotions

To freely flow?

I remember

The exact moment

Reaching the end

Of the

Oscar winning movie

Moonlight

Sitting numbly

Tears rolling gently

Down my cheeks

The main character

Born gentle

Kind and caring

His family

His community

Hardening emotions

Mentally and physically

Beat out

Of him

In the end

As an adult

Coming to terms

The need

Urgent and focused

To be seen

Touched and loved

A simple hug

Allowing freedom’s

Gentle embrace

To be felt

As I look

The abrasive landscape

Of our country

Men’s lack

Of ability

To emotionally feel

Showing up

At every turn

Anger

Rage

Violence

Images violently

Dotting our land

Blood stains

Unable to be

Washed away

Fathers handing down

Jail sentences

To our sons

For some

A life sentence

Trying to outrun

Their father’s legacy

Others it’s

A life

Of loneliness

Enslaved to

The next experience

Woman

Or addiction

What could

Be different

If our sons

Were gifted

Permission to cry

Permission to express

Hurt and rage

Feelings within

Not the enemy

Rather the way

Out of

The pain felt

It starts

A simple message

Everyone is

Emotional

We all feel

Feelings being

The placenta

Attached to us

Flowing from

Our mother’s womb

For some

A lifeforce

Carried on

Throughout our childhood

For most

It was

Violently served

Treating us

As soldiers

Needing to

Toughen up

The focus being

The rough waters

Of life ahead

It’s time

Time to learn

Giving permission

To ourselves

To feel

In doing so

We allow

Those around us

To feel

It’s time

To acknowledge

Other’s emotions

With empathy

Looking beyond

The rage

Trying to discover

What is

Backed up

In their pipes

Unable to be

Let out

Let’s be

Light-working plumbers

Gently unclogging

The growing pipes


Serving as

Revolutionaries

Drawing ourselves

And those

Around us

Into deeper intimacy

Courageously transforming

Those we

Love and cherish

Rick Ellsmore

1.28.20

Filed Under: Writing Tagged With: anger, boys, caring, childhood, Emotions, fear, gentle, intimacy, joy, kind, manhood, moonlight, pain, tears

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